Gillian Un-Blinded
by Butimachrldr2
Summary: "The irony of her predicament didn't escape her notice. All day she had been convincing others of the need for help and she herself wasn't able to ask for it." Gillian Foster's perspective in the episode, Blinded.


I do not own Lie to Me, the characters, dialogue, or events in the episodes.

Gillian Foster watched the monitors as Cal Lightman walked past several inmates, eyeing them up one by one. She flinched and tried to prepare herself when she saw the flash in his eyes, watching him turn back and flip the food tray onto the inmate. Even though she knew it was coming, her fingers clenched into fists in her lap and she had to look away from the violence. Cal's bloody face appeared on the screen and she averted her eyes for a moment. She didn't want to acknowledge, even to herself, how much it hurt and scared her when Cal threw himself into danger like that.

She composed herself, focusing on Andrew Jenkins expression. She saw on his face that Cal's actions had caught the serial rapist's interests. So his plan had worked. She couldn't help but be both a little miffed and impressed. A smirk appeared briefly at the side of her mouth. Cal would be pleased. Looking at Cal's face she saw the faintest flicker on him confirming that he had read Jenkins and knew he had him. Continuing to watch the monitors as Cal was led to work in the laundry room with Jenkins, she could feel the agent pacing with frustration behind her.

"Does anybody want to tell me why Mr. Genius is ignoring the guy he's here to talk to?" Agent Ben Reynolds asked. Patience was apparently not his virtue, Gillian reflected internally. "Huh? I mean what is he waiting for?"

"Andrew Jenkins is a highly skilled pathological liar. If we come at him head on, we'll get nothing." Gillian responded, explaining the reasoning behind Cal's behavior.

"Jenkins has intel on the copycat, it would be good to get it before another woman gets abducted." Reynolds responded gesturing his frustration. It was apparent he wanted to stop the copycat from hurting anyone else.

Without turning around, Gillian responded, "Lightman wants Jenkins to make the first move. And he will." She truly believed it. Cal was the best.

"What if he gets made?" Reynolds asked.

"He won't." Gillian responded quietly. She was confident in Cal's skills. Her eyes never left the monitors.

"Agent Reynolds, if the FBI didn't think we could do the job, why put us on the case?" Ria Torres asked one hand on her hip and her eyes rolling up and to the side almost as if she was rolling her eyes at him.

"I interviewed Jenkins five times and I got zero on the copycat. So let me put it this way: I don't believe in holistic medicine but if the chemo's not working, I'll give acupuncture a shot."

On the monitor, Gillian watched as Jenkins approached Cal asking him, "Hey need a hand?"

"I think acupuncture's about to pay off." Gillian's smile could be heard in her response. The team quieted as they focused on what was happening in the laundry room.

"Hello?" Jenkins asked Cal, a little put off by Cal's seeming disregard for him. "You change your mind just give me a yell. Name's Andrew Jenkins."

Cal pushed the laundry cart towards Jenkins causing him to step back.

"Progress." Gillian again smiled.

"Tshew" Reynolds responded with a huff of frustration.

"Patience is not one of your virtues, is it Agent Reynolds?" Gillian asked over her shoulder, voicing her earlier thought.

"No!" Reynolds confirmed. A knock on the door stopped him from continuing to respond.

"Is that Jenkins' fan mail?" Ria asked.

"Ten years of sickos and freaks worshipping him." The other agent replied.

"Alright. Take it all back to the office, odds are good the copycat's in there somewhere." Gillian directed Torres. She noticed the younger woman's mild disappointment at not remaining where the action was and filed it for later. Ria would have to learn that the research was just as important.

"Alright." Torres responded heading out. Gillian turned back to the monitors.

She focused on Cal who she realized was now back in the lunchroom. They watched Jenkins follow Cal and sit down across from him. Cal picked up his tray like he meant to walk off, but then paused as if he was debating his next course of action. "Heard about you on TV, you're that, you got that copycat, right?" he asked Jenkins who swelled with pride.

Gillian pointed his reaction out to Reynolds. "Swollen chest, chin up, smile, that's pride."

"I don't get it myself, you're just another pervert who can't close." Cal taunted Jenkins.

"Is that who I am?" Jenkins calmly asked Cal as he began eating.

"Now what happens is you get queasy when it comes time to finish. Is that it?" Cal asked still standing and spooning jello into his mouth. Gillian's lip quirked up in amusement at Cal eating jello. She might have to tease him about that later.

"What are you in for?" Jenkins asked.

"I.. uh, 'ave an ex-wife who sometimes doesn't let me see my kids, now a cop took her side and jury said that I killed 'im." Cal continued eating through his response.

Jenkins paused and calmly questioned Cal. "This, um, this cop, does he jerk awake every morning with your name on his lips? Is your face the last thing he sees every night before he falls asleep? When he meets someone new, hears the horror in their voice, who does your cop think of?"

Gillian stopped watching the monitor for a second as her eyes flashed upwards thinking of the women Jenkins had hurt, what they had gone through, while simultaneously analyzing his psychosis based on his statements to Cal. She knew Cal was goading him, playing on his pride. She returned her gaze to the monitors.

"Oh wait, that's right, he's not thinking of anyone." Jenkins ended.

"I take your point." Cal said, sitting down, acknowledging Jenkins' ego.

"Thought you might." Jenkins resumed eating with a wag of his eyebrows and a brief smirk.

Gillian and the agents continued to monitor Cal's progress. He had obviously connected with Jenkins. Now that the men were once again in the laundry room, they listened in as Jenkins asked Cal, "What's on your mind?"

"Nofing." Cal responded.

"No, come on, ask." Jenkins jovially pushed as he continued to fold laundry.

"I don't get it… I mean, I don't, I don't, I don't get it. Why'd you have to blind them? It seems a bit excessive, you know." Cal questioned.

"Well that's an easy one." Jenkins walked over towards Cal. "No eyes," he gestured with two fingers at Cal's eyes, "they can't identify me after."

"How'd you get caught then?"

"Busted taillight. I had a girl in the trunk." Jenkins leaned towards Cal, "Almost talked my way out of it. With her screaming back there."

"So you're that good are ya?" Cal questioned, again feeding into Jenkins' ego.

"Yeah. But you aren't." Jenkins stated.

"Excuse me?" Cal faked surprise.

Gillian's face registered genuine surprise and confusion. Agent Reynolds leaned forward concern spreading on his face.

"Different costume, same game." Jenkins continued.

Cal pretended to think on it, "No, you lost me."

"Who are you?" Jenkins asked. "Cause you're not a cop killer."

"That's what I keep telling my lawyer." Cal smirked acting as if he found it funny.

"You're a fraud." Jenkins responded. "Who sent you in here? Special agent Reynolds?"

Reynolds lost what little patience he had managed to gain when Cal and Jenkins had begun communicating. "Oh Dammit" he jumped up slamming his hands down on the table as his fellow agent alerted the guards to the situation. "Lightman is supposed to be reading Jenkins, it looks like the other way around to me!" He demanded.

Gillian was still shocked and her fingers moved from her forehead to her mouth. Fear for Cal and bewilderment that Jenkins could read him was evident on her face. "I've never seen anyone read Lightman who hasn't had deception training. I… I… I don't know what happened." Her eyes searched over both Cal's and Jenkins' faces trying to figure out what had just happened. This just wasn't possible, she thought, Cal couldn't have been made. She bit her lip, a seed of suspicion began forming in the back of her mind.

"Well it was worth a shot." Cal extended his hand, which Jenkins shook. "Cal Lightman, how d'ya do?"

"And you want to know what I know about my friend the copycat." Jenkins questioned.

"Yes." Cal responded.

"How come nobody's tried to bribe me?" Jenkins deflected, changing the line of questioning to gain an advantage.

"What would it take?" Cal bought into Jenkins' game on purpose.

"Hey, Hey, Hey," several guards yelled while running in to assist Cal.

"Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa." Cal held his hands up to stop the advancing guards. "Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. We're all good; it's very civil."

"Yeah right," Reynolds mumbled in the control room. Gillian didn't hear him as she was too busy reading Cal.

"What would it take?" Cal asked Jenkins referring to his earlier comment about a bribe.

"You know what I like?" Jenkins smiled, "Chocodiles." He made a snapping noise with his mouth and raised his shoulders for emphasis. "I'd like a box a week."

"Alright, that's a deal." Cal agreed.

"Yeah." Jenkins pulled back. "I'm gonna need that in writing."

"You made a deal with a pathological lying serial rapist for chocodiles?" Gillian's incredulity, anger and suspicion were clear in her whispered voice. She was watching Cal's face for leakage. She knew he was up to something and surprise, surprise he wasn't cluing her in.

Cal's refusing to look at her only heightening her suspicion. Turning from her and the signed document he asked Jenkins directly, "So where's the copycat?"

"Well you get an A for effort," Jenkins paused dramatically, "and effort should be rewarded." He was loving every minute of this. "3748 Woodlawn road."

The agents took off as the guards escorted Jenkins back to his cell. "Good luck," He jovially called back to them. Gillian followed closely behind Cal as he raced to his car. She could see the fixation in his eyes followed by the frustration when they lost time checking out at the gate of the parking lot. She used that time to enter the address into the GPS. Cal followed the dictated directions while making up what little time they had lost by weaving through traffic on the highway. They arrived just after Ben Reynolds and the rest of the agents. Both Cal and Gillian jumped out of the car, surprised by the number of police cars also on the scene. Running over to Reynolds, Gillian asked him, "What happened?"

"Jenkins played you, that's what happened." Reynolds said angrily, "While you were signing the contract for snack cakes, Camille Halpern was being abducted from this house."

"So Jenkins didn't lead us to the rapist." Reynolds nodded at Cal's statement. Cal paused before continuing, "He led us to another victim."

Reynolds nodded again with disgust. Before he responded further, he was called over by another agent. Cal turned and walked toward the car, Gillian followed him. She looked closely at Cal's face, but he was unreadable. He looked at her and she questioned him with her eyes. She could see him stewing over something. "Jenkins gave you something." She started softly, and Cal's eye twitched, "he opened up to you. So now…"

"So now he'll want to keep playing his game. It's all about pride with him. Right." Cal gestured toward Gillian, "but the question is, how much do I play back. Are the stakes worth it?"

"Cal," Gillian placed her hand on his arm reading the concern on his face, "Another woman has been taken. We don't have the luxury of time."

"What are you saying luv?" Cal's concern was apparent. He was looking at her knowingly. She felt a chill run up her spine but managed to hide it. She could tell he was asking her what risk she herself was willing to take. Knowing what she did about Jenkins' and his copycat, she knew her response despite her fear.

"I think this is a situation where the risk is worth it." Gillian held Cal's gaze.

"Alright." Cal shrugged and then straightened up. "I'll catch Reynolds. Get him to grease his boys and get Jenkins in the cube." Gillian barely contained her grimace. Cal was about to walk away but stopped when he read her face. He stepped into Gillian's space. "Jenkins will need to think he 'as the upper hand. That he's broken me. I need him to think he's in charge. Right? I need him out of 'is element. There, at the prison, well he was on his turf. Right? I need him on mine."

Perhaps that was why he had allowed himself to be made, she thought. Was it just so he could get Jenkins in the cube? Gillian schooled her face to hide the fact that she was trying to figure out Cal's game. Instead she nodded as Cal looked at her with a face of contemplation. She could tell he was considering what and how much to share with her as well as trying to read her.

He continued, "You focus on the victims, right luv, that's your expertise." Again she nodded, knowing something more was coming. She didn't wait long for the other shoe to drop. "But first," he began coming closer into her space. There it was, she thought. "You and I, need to have it out, a real row, in front of him. You," once again gesturing at her face, "be angry with me, really pissed. Maybe… about me bringing him into the office." Cal smirked, and she rolled her eyes at him knowing he was commenting on her earlier reaction, "Yeah, that's right. Shouldn't be hard. You already don't like the idea."

"Cal…" she arched her eyebrow at him.

He didn't bother hiding his smirk. "Right. Right. You get mad, we argue, you storm off. Make sure he hears it, right luv?" He didn't even wait for her nod, reading her agreement and understanding on her face, then went off in search of Reynolds.

Gillian felt a mixture of emotions in her stomach. She was afraid of Jenkins' coming into the office. She was even more concerned with what she didn't know about Cal's plan. He had involved her in a small way, which pleased her, but also was not as much as she would like to be involved. Baby steps, she thought as she got into the car and pulled out her phone. Nothing helped her nerves like focusing on work. She would pull off Cal's scene. They'd done it before. Once resolved, she opened the file and dialed Heidi.

"Dr. Foster." She heard Heidi answer.

"Hello Heidi," Gillian responded. "I need you to reach out to the victims of both Jenkins and the copycat. Find out if any of them will speak with me and, if so, please schedule a time for me to speak with them. Their information should be in the file provided by agent Reynolds."

"Of course Dr. Foster. What should I share with them, as far as why you wish to speak with them, and when would you like these meetings scheduled?"

"Dr. Lightman and I will be back in the office shortly. Another woman has been abducted so I'd like to speak with them as soon as possible" While Gillian wasn't exactly sure when Cal would return, she knew he would want to get in the cube quickly. "If it works out, I would like to meet with them later today. Please explain to them what we do at the Lightman group, let them know my background, and you can share that the meeting is in regard to the ongoing investigation of the copycat. I don't believe we should share any other information at this time. If they ask, you can tell them that I will explain further when we meet."

"Ok Dr. Foster, I will get on that right away."

"Thank you Heidi." Hanging up the phone, she opened up the file and began reviewing the information on each of the victims. She was so enmeshed in her research that she didn't realize Cal had returned until he was already in the car. She looked over at him, and seeing that he was starting the car, reached up to belt herself in.

"Well that's set. I've sent Reynolds on ahead to debrief the children." Cal teased placing his arm behind her chair to help him look behind him as he backed up. "Ready to go home darling?" he asked rhetorically as he pulled the car forward and headed toward the office. She busied herself with the file and ignored the butterflies that had appeared in her stomach at his statement.

The ride was a quiet one. Both lost in their own musings about the case until Gillian broke the silence. "Is there anything else I should know Cal?" If she hadn't had years of reading him she might have missed the expression that passed on his face before clearing.

"Nothing to tell luv."

"So you don't want to share why you blew your cover?" Anyone else would have missed the pride he hid at her calling him out.

"Win some lose some Gil."

"mmmhmmm." Was her only response. He glanced over at her and caught the smirk on her face and wagged his eyebrows back at her. She let out a huff in mock exasperation which just made his grin grow.

The mood in the car cleared as their eyes smirked at each other. "Did you make any progress on the victims?" Cal asked her.

"I've asked Heidi to contact them and set up meetings with any who are willing to speak with me. Hopefully she'll have something scheduled so I can head straight out after we get back to the office."

Cal looked over at her again as if to ask her if her memory still held. She responded with a face of incredulity. "After our tiff of course." The sarcasm evident in her voice.

"Course." He responded as if he had never doubted her. She shook her head and looked out the window. "We'll do it right after we get Jenkins hooked up. Get a baseline on him. Right luv?" Cal asked gently. Without turning back to look at him she nods realizing that Cal has turned into the parking deck. After he parks, they make their way into the office.

Walking down the hall, she heard Agent Reynolds speaking with Ria and Eli. "All right, this is single mom Camille Halpern. If form holds, the copycat will toy with her the first 24 hours, and then he'll blind her and rape her. And we're already down three hours."

"What's he do before he blinds them?" Eli asked the agent.

Having caught up with them, Gillian responded with professional calm despite the gruesome details she shares. "He ties them up, gags them and forces them to watch videos of his previous victims." Eli's shock was evident on his face.

"So right now, Camille is watching what he's gonna do to her?" Torrez asked looking at the woman's photo, her demeanor non-plussed. Unlike Eli, she had seen her share of sickos and the worst of human nature. Not much surprised her when it came to how shitty people could be.

"Yeah, if we don't get to her first." Reynolds answered still looking through the file.

"Alright, well, Cube's ready." Cal looked at all of them. "Nobody talks to Jenkins but me. We clear?" Cal looked at Torrez making a pointed effort to single her out. She looked down in response unsure why she was feeling guilty.

"I pulled strings all over D. C. to get this bastard in here. So I sure hope that this plan is a lot more successful than your last one." Reynold's anger at Cal apparent in his tone. Cal mocked an expression of fake remorse, staying deep in his role.

"At least we know Jenkins is connected to the copycat. That's more than you found out the last three months." Torrez defended the group, channeling her earlier guilty feelings into sarcasm.

Gillian glanced at Ria with pride, pleased that she is standing up for Cal and the team. She also can't help but reveal the amusement she feels at Ria calling out Agent Reynolds. A noise from the end of the hall causes them all to look up. They watch as Jenkins dances down the hallway surrounded by his escort detail.

Stopping in front of Cal, Jenkins addresses him, "Now, I told you where to find him. You just got there late." Cal simply returns his glance. "Agent Ben, Thanks for the hall pass." Jenkins bows in mock acknowledgment while smirking at Agent Reynolds. Then turning to Gillian, he sighs and with a smile addresses her directly, "Hi Foster."

Gillian can't hide her surprise nor her disgust at him addressing her, though she tries her best to do so. She feels the anger rise up her neck along with a tinge of fear and an ample amount of disgust.

"Follow me." Lightman cuts him off turning into the cube. Trailed by the guards, Jenkins follows, responding in a mocking tone, "Oh somebody doesn't like me talking to his lady."

Foster stands her ground as he passes, not allowing him to assume any fear on her part. Once he is in the cube she heads to Heidi's desk. Anticipating Gillian's request before she even asks the question, Heidi hands Gillian a file with a sheet of paper on top. "I've contacted most of the copycat victims already." Before she continues, Gillian already knows it isn't good news. "Unfortunately, only one was willing to speak with you. She is available for you to meet her at her home. She said she would feel more comfortable if you came to her, plus, I'm not sure she has anyone who could drive her here. Her address is on that sheet." Gillian nods reading the address. "I'm still following up with the Jenkins' victims. I was able to get ahold of one, a Michelle Russell. She and her husband Paul said they would be happy to help in any way. Her information is on that sheet too."

"Thank you Heidi. I'll just let Dr. Lightman know that I'm heading out to speak with," Gillian checks the sheet of paper again, "Natalie Wright, and then I'll be on my way. You can reach me on my phone, if you need me."

"Ok Dr. Foster." Heidi responds.

Gillian strides with purpose back to the cube. Through the open door she overhears Jenkins mockingly ask Cal, "So what now, make the puppet dance?"

Knowing this was the perfect opportunity, she knocks on the glass, indicating to Cal he should step out to speak with her. She made sure she wore an expression of badly concealed anger, contempt and frustration.

"What?" Cal asks as he shuffles out of the door of the cube.

Gillian launches immediately into the response she had been rehearsing in her head, knowing Jenkins can hear her through the open door. "I called Natalie Wright. The woman attacked two weeks ago. She's a wreck but she is the only copycat victim willing to talk to me. I thought I might be able to get some detail that could help us with our new victim. So I'll be on my cell." Looking away she turns to leave having said her peace, hoping her tone and demeanor would be enough incentive for Cal to incite a confrontation.

"If you need me" Cal calls out to her. She stops and sighs loudly in frustration as she turns around.

"Cal?" She asks with a tone of caution letting him know to proceed carefully.

"No. 'Cause normally you add if you need me. You're pissed, Right? 'Cause you think I blew it at the prison, right?" Cal doesn't really ask but rather states it as fact. He knows this is the act he asked her to perform and he knows that Jenkins can hear their argument. He wants him to hear it. But he is not entirely sure whether Gillian is only acting or if part of her, in fact, really is angry with him. He heard Jenkins call her by name and figures maybe now she understands his original concerns better. He has his suspicions but he wants to confirm them even as he creates this argument for Jenkins' benefit. He doesn't know how much she has discerned about the long con he is playing. He wants to know whether she's mad he didn't included her more. He questions if she doubts him or really believes that he blew it with Jenkins on purpose. That small boy in the back of his mind still wants to test her loyalty. Plus he is furious at Jenkins for addressing her by name, but as he can't take it out on Jenkins directly it comes out in his tone.

"I'm not blaming you" She responds, almost automatically, recognizing that wounded little boy that worries about her approval. They both knew she meant she didn't blame him for Jenkins addressing her. She lets him see that even though she was disappointed that he hadn't included her fully in his con, she also knows in his mind he believes what he is doing is the right thing.

"But you're angry," he counters, again asking whether she trusts him.

"Because Jenkins is loving this. I mean this is the best day he's had in over a decade. He's out of jail. He's getting all this attention. We are fulfilling his every fantasy." She allows his prodding to slip behind her defenses and shows him that while frustrated she does trust him and that they are in this together.

"Oh by 'we' you mean me, is that it?" Again he responds with a statement in the guise of a question. Letting her know he knows why she is frustrated and that he is taking responsibility if this goes badly.

Gillian glares at him, angry at the satisfaction he is now displaying at reading her face and discovering that despite her frustration she trusts him. She also lets him see that she does not want him to take the responsibility fully. They are a team. Conveying this, she turns without another word and storms off.

The car ride to Natalie's home is a blur. She almost misses the last turn from the GPS as she is rehashing their mock argument. No matter how many times she has been there for him, he still is so insecure. She wishes there was more she could do to get him to trust her. She parks on the street and chews on her lip for a minute before getting out of the car to approach the house. Once again years of compartmentalization take over and she tugs on the face of the shrink. She has a job to do.

Knocking on the door, she hears a woman asking who it is and responds, "Hello, Natalie Wright? My name is Doctor Gillian Foster. My assistant Heidi set up our meeting. I'm with the Lightman group."

"Oh yes Dr. Foster. Just give me a moment."

Gillian can hear the woman unlocking the door. She steels herself in anticipation of what she will see, but the reality is far worse. Her anger towards Jenkins and his copycat flares. She takes a quiet calming breath and steadies her voice before responding. "I really can't thank you enough Natalie. After everything you have been through, to take the time and effort to help our investigation, it really is commendable."

"I don't know how much help I can be really. But I will do my best Dr. Foster. Please come inside. I'm still getting used to … well to this." She gestures to herself but really is implying how slow she now walks while hanging onto the walls and holding her hands out to feel the furniture.

"May I… I mean would you like assistance to the couch?" Gillian began to ask if Natalie needed help, but stopped herself realizing that by changing her wording she would make it about Natalie's decision. This simple restatement was a small step in empowering Natalie to make her own choices versus continuing to treat her as a victim.

"Yes, thank you." Natalie nodded and reached out for Gillian's hand. Gillian held out her hand and helped Natalie grab onto her arm, then guided her around the furniture to the couch.

Once they were seated Natalie withdrew her hands and placed them in her lap.

"Did Heidi explain what we do at the Lightman group?" Gillian asked.

"Yes, a bit. She mentioned that you deal with lie… lie detection?"

"Yes, my colleague Dr. Cal Lightman is the foremost expert in micro expressions. Micro expressions are facial or body movements that are automatic and unconscious and occur quite quickly. Dr. Lightman has found that these expressions are universal to all people regardless of their language or background and he has identified the triggers to these micro expressions. His science has allowed us to identify the emotions someone is feeling when they unconsciously make one of these expressions. After years of study, we are often able to determine whether someone is lying, although we aren't always sure of why they are lying. Our work has been very successful in FBI and police investigations. Our science can often help us learn more about a suspect than more traditional means of interrogation. In this case, the FBI is hoping that we can help identify your attacker."

"Ok. I think I understand." Natalie's voice conveyed her confusion. "Would you like something to … drink?" Natalie's question came out and Gillian read the reservation in her voice.

Looking around, Gillian realized that the girl was alone. The reservation in her voice was at the idea of having to get them drinks. Voicing her own concern Gillian asked, "Are you alone here Natalie?" The girl nodded. "There's no one who can stay with you?"

"I don't want anyone to see me." Natalie shrugs as she responds almost apologetically.

"Mmm," Gillian recognizes the pain in the girl's voice and the stiffness in her actions. "What about your parents?" She continues to pry knowing that this girl needs someone to help her.

"My mom's gone." Natalie tries to explain, "My dad was here for a few days but it just made things worse. My friends do what they can."

Gillian reaches out and touches her hand in an automatic gesture of comfort. When Natalie jumps she immediately realizes her mistake in not alerting the girl to her actions and tries to apologize "I'm sor..." she whispers but Natalie recovers faster and apologizes to her first. "I'm sorry."

"I, I'm sorry" Gillian responds. Natalie, realizing Gillian meant it as a form of comforting contact, turns toward Gillian on the couch and grabs for her hands. She grabs them like she desperately needs the contact of another person who wants to touch her, isn't repulsed by her.

"I want to help you." She begins, now facing Gillian, "I know he has another woman but I… I can't remember. He said his dog was missing and I helped him and then… just gone. And when I try to remember all I can think is no one will ever love me. I'm a…I'm 23 years old and my life is over. My life is over."

Gillian trying not to cry looks down at her lap. A moment of clarity overcomes her. She had been feeling so out of control lately what with her separation from Alec, which she still hadn't told anyone about. She had felt a tremendous pressure on herself for feeling as though she had failed at her marriage. She wasn't ready to let the world know that she was giving up. Moving out, fighting with him, dealing with the calls from the attorneys, the stress of what was going to happen, it had all been weighing heavily on her. Then having Cal not trust her, not include her, in their work, well it had been the proverbial straw. But now, her stress and worries paled in comparison to what Natalie was going through. Here she was frustrated with Cal for not trusting her and the whole reason Cal made his decision was to help stop this from happening again. She let go of those negative emotions. He was doing his job and she would do hers. She couldn't let Natalie believe that her life was over. She would find a way to help this girl.

"Natalie," Gillian started calmly still holding the girls hands. "I am a psychologist. I believe Heidi mentioned that on the phone?" Natalie nodded in response to the question Gillian asked. "I don't have a private practice any more, my work with the Lightman group is exclusive, but I'd be willing to listen, and to work with you if you want. I can even meet with you here."

This time Natalie took longer before answering as if she was contemplating her response. "The doctors, they recommended that I speak with someone. I… I like you Gillian. I feel comfortable with you. That may sound strange, and maybe I'm crazy, but I feel like I can trust you."

"That's not crazy at all Natalie. You can trust me." Gillian encouraged the girl.

"I do feel like I can trust you, but… well I just don't know how you can help me or how I can help you." Natalie gripped Gillian's hands tighter.

"Natalie, wanting to help, not just our investigation but more importantly yourself, is a big first step." Gillian knew Natalie couldn't see her smile but she knew Natalie could feel it when Gillian squeezed her hands back. "Now I know you've probably heard therapy can take a long time, and it can, but I'd like to try something a little unconventional. I think it would help you and help us. Would you be willing to trust me?"

"Ok." Natalie nodded.

"Now if it's alright with you I'm just going to step into the other room to make a phone call. There is another woman, she was attacked the same way you were, but by Andrew Jenkins, the man the copycat is emulating. She spoke earlier with Heidi and said she would like to help. Perhaps if she would be willing to come here she might be able to help you remember something. I know this is asking a lot."

"She went through it too… she said she'd be willing to help?" Natalie's surprise, curiosity and trepidation were evident in her voice.

"Yes, she…" Gillian hesitated for the briefest of seconds, "and her husband, said they would be happy to help us. I'll have to call her to confirm, but my hope is she will be open to partnering with you. What do you think?"

"She's married?" Natalie's grip on Gillian's hands tightened almost painfully.

"Yes." Gillian had hesitated about sharing this, but thought it might give Natalie some hope, so in the end shared that tidbit.

"Do you know… I mean were they… were they married before…" Natalie tried to voice her question but it seemed almost too painful.

"I believe they met after the attack." Gillian answered what she knew in hear heart Natalie was asking.

Natalie took a deep breath and straightened up. "Yes, I think you should call her."

"Wonderful. Thank you Natalie. I'll be back in just a moment." With that Gillian gave Natalie's hand a final squeeze and got up from the couch. She pulled out the file from her bag and dialed Michelle's phone number.

A man's voice answered. "Hello?"

"Yes, hello, my name is Dr. Gillian Foster, I'm part of the Lightman Group. I was hoping to speak with Michelle Russel. My assistant Heidi phoned earlier requesting a meeting."

"Oh yes Dr. Foster, this is her husband Paul. Heidi mentioned you'd be calling. She let us know about the ongoing investigation with Andrew Jenkins' copycat. Michelle and I would be happy to help in any way we can. Please hang on for a moment and let me get her for you."

Gillian heard some noises in the background as she waited for Michelle to pick up. She looked at the magnets on Natalie's refrigerator. There were lots of locations represented there. Natalie must have been quite the traveler. Hopefully with Michelle's help they could encourage Natalie to realize her life was not over.

"Hello, Dr. Foster? This is Michelle," a woman's voice brought her back to the phone call.

"Yes, hello Michelle. Thank you so much for taking the time to speak with me."

"Anything we can do to help in your investigation." Michelle responded.

"I'm sure you've seen on the news that there is a copycat at large." Gillian started.

"Yes, my husband and I have been following it closely. The police have already spoken with us both. I'm not sure what we can add as we have already given our statements." Michelle sounded a little unsure.

"Well the Lightman group operates a little differently than the police." Gillian paused to lay out in her mind how to best explain this. "Actually, I'd like to ask your help, Michelle, in a unique way. Right now I'm at the home of Natalie Wright, one of the copycat's victims. She is having a hard time remembering details of her attack. That kind of information could really help our investigation and stop this individual. Perhaps if she could meet with you, and hear your story… well I think you may be able to help her far more than I could." Gillian paused before adding the additional reason she wanted Michelle to meet Natalie. "Michelle, Natalie is struggling with where to go from here. It's all still so new to her. She… needs something to look forward to, a belief that things can get better. I think meeting with you, well, maybe it will give her some hope."

Gillian waited with baited breath during the silence that followed. "I think I understand Dr. Foster. Of course we will come."

After relaying the address information, Gillian returned to the living room to sit with Natalie. They briefly tried some techniques to take Natalie back to that night but nothing seemed to revive any memories. Natalie seemed a bit anxious and excited about the prospect of meeting Michelle. So they decided to wait until Michelle arrived. Gillian got them both a drink and then asked Natalie more about how she was coping. Natalie took her time when responding and still seemed distracted. When the noise of the car alerted them to an arrival, Gillian looked out the window to confirm whether it was actually the couple. "They're here." Gillian said letting Natalie know that Michelle and her husband Paul had indeed arrived.

Gillian felt relief that they had shown up. It had been a long shot, given most of the victims hadn't wanted to even speak to her. When Michelle agreed to come speak with Natalie, and try to help Natalie remember more about the attack, she had felt a glimmer of hope inside herself. Perhaps meeting another woman who had overcome a similar experience would help Natalie realize her life was not over. "Ok, it's been eleven years since she was attacked and she's doing well now."

"Ok. I can do this." Natalie said, not really sure if she was reassuring Gillian or herself.

"Ok I just want you two to talk. You know, maybe she can help you remember something. But don't push yourself, ok?" Gillian hoped her words would help soothe some of Natalie's anxiety over the meeting. She really believed this could help.

"Ok." Natalie agreed.

"Ok." Gillian confirmed.

Gillian answered the door and exchanged pleasantries with Michelle and Paul before turning to Natalie to introduce them. "Natalie… careful." She said as she helped her up. "I want you to meet Michelle Russell and her husband Paul."

"Hi." Natalie said.

"Hi Natalie" Michelle responded.

Gillian watched as the two moved back to the couch to sit and converse. Michelle was so supportive and encouraging. She could tell Natalie was bonding with her already and she couldn't hide her pleasure. Wanting to give them some space, she moved out of the room and was accompanied by Paul, Michelle's husband.

"I appreciate you both making the time." Gillian spoke softly to Paul. "Natalie needed to know that her life isn't over."

"Oh it helps Michelle too." He eagerly agreed. He sounded just as pleased as Gillian. "Talking to other victims. Testifying at Jenkins parole hearing. It's her way of fighting back."

Gillian's shock was evident on her face. "She went to the parole hearing? That must have been tough." She couldn't believe that Michelle would put herself through that experience.

"Oh she handled it better than I did. I took a shot at the guy." Gillian was still trying to work through her surprise but looked at him with concern. Something felt… off in their conversation, but before she could ask anything else, Paul excused himself to help Michelle as she approached them.

Gillian could hear a brief whispered exchange between the two. Michelle asked "Where is she?" to which Paul responded "She's right here to the right." Michelle acknowledged him with an ok.

"She said there were no sounds where she was kept. Nothing at all from the outside." Michelle told Gillian.

"Like she was kept underground?" Gillian's mind was still processing trying to figure out what had sounded off in her earlier conversation and immediately jumped to a potential scenario where Natalie wouldn't have heard any noises. "I'll let agent Reynolds know that." She added the last part to emphasize to Michelle that her conversation was important and even little bits of information could help them.

"Ok um, we're going to keep talking. I'll try to get more." Michelle confirmed her understanding of the importance of the discovery.

"Thank you." Gillian meant it.

Gillian stepped away to contact Reynolds while Paul helped Michelle back to the couch in the unfamiliar living room. She dialed his number and immediately responded when she heard him say his name.

"Agent Reynolds, Natalie Wright was able to remember that there were no noises, no outside sounds, where she was kept. Perhaps she was held underground?" Gillian conveyed the brief information.

"Yeah, that sounds plausible. Thanks. Call me if you get any more from her." Reynolds hung up. He was definitely a man of few words Gillian thought.

She returned to her spot surveying the room noticing that Paul had sat down near his wife. She stayed back continuing to give them respectful space. She was amazed by both women. They were so much stronger than perhaps they even realized. Gillian felt a surge in her heart towards them both.

Gillian watched as Michelle and Natalie finished up their discussion and said their goodbyes. Although they hadn't discovered any additional memories from Natalie, she still couldn't help but feel encouraged. Natalie's demeanor had changed. Her whole energy seemed more hopeful. That alone made Gillian feel better.

She reflected on how her own perspective had changed that day. The morning's frustration had transformed into something completely different. She realized that while Cal had his long cons and secrecy and his ultimate finding of the truth, she had her gifts too, and perhaps her 'prize' at the end of the day was even better than the truth. She was lucky enough to witness this strong woman start to believe in herself again and Gillian was reminded of why she had pursued psychology in the first place.

She spoke with Natalie on her own for a bit before leaving. She reiterated her offer to come by and check on Natalie and be available to listen whenever she needed someone. Gillian had meant it too. She may not have a private practice anymore but she could still help Natalie. Natalie asked if she wouldn't mind coming back tomorrow, which Gillian was more than happy to do.

When she decided it was time to head out, she felt so much lighter than she had earlier in the day. Natalie even walked her to the door. "Thank you." Natalie told her standing in her doorway. "Meeting Michelle really helped." Her tone had changed drastically in the last few hours.

"I'm glad," Gillian smiled really feeling the joy of hearing the belief in Natalie's voice, "you did some amazing work today Natalie. Ok. I'll visit you tomorrow. Ok?" Having learned her lesson from earlier she asked, "Can I give you a hug?" Natalie showed her affirmation and Gillian responded with another "Ok" before hugging the girl.

"Thank you Gillian" Natalie repeated her acknowledgment again before they exchanged good nights.

The door shut behind her with a soft creak. Gillian unlocked her car with her key fob as she walked toward it and began dialing her cell. She was ready to check in with Cal, her former frustration with him having been transformed by love and respect for the courage and compassion she had witnessed with Natalie and Michelle.

Engrossed in her pleasant thoughts she lifted the phone to her ear. Sensing something behind her she turned and gasped as pain radiated across the side of her face and head. The force of the blow threw her to the concrete. With no time to assess the damage, she felt hands grab at her and begin dragging her down the street. Her vision was rolling from the pain pounding in her temple but she heard herself scream and call for help as she fought off her attacker, grabbing wherever she could and kicking out in sheer terror, losing her shoes in the process. Images of what had happened to Natalie and Michelle flashed in her mind as she fought for her life. She reached up to grab at her assailant when he let go. She vaguely registered the sound of a car as she crumpled to the ground and then heard someone else yelling. She rested for a second on the wet ground trying to catch her breath and stop the spinning in her head. Before she could there were hands on her again. She screamed and struggled to fight back until his voice broke through into her mind and she realized it was Cal. He was trying to hold her.

She turned from him trying to crawl away. "I didn't see him." She said hearing the tears in her voice. She didn't want Cal to see her like this. She couldn't break down in front of him. But he was relentless pulling her back until she had no choice but to grab on to him for dear life and bury her face in his chest. She felt his breathing as he clung to her burying his face in her hair. She sobbed uncontrollably shaking against him.

The ride to the hospital was a blur. She was vaguely aware of Agent Reynolds driving. She had stopped crying by the time Cal got her in the car but he hadn't left her side and was still holding her cradled to his chest in the back seat. Her arm and shoulder had begun to throb viciously in the car but Cal held her so tightly to him she never registered the fast turns or movements of the car weaving through traffic.

Ben would never admit it out loud but he was a bit afraid of what Lightman would do to him if he didn't get Gillian to the hospital as fast as humanly possible. Ben may not read micro-expressions but Cal's face would strike fear in the devil.

Cal never released Gillian until he sat her down in the wheelchair in front of the ER. Even then his hand rested on her shoulder as he wheeled her with the other one to the check-in desk. A flash of Agent Reynold's badge and her evaluation was expedited.

The nurse who took her from Cal was an older woman with a gentle touch. She patted Cal's arm in a gesture of reassurance. As she wheeled Gillian back to the examination room, she called back to Cal, "She'll be in good hands." Gillian was feeling exhausted at that point and didn't see if Cal had read her. His lack of argument suggested he had and believed her, which was kind of a relief at this point.

The nurse helped her into the hospital gown and took down her vitals. A short time after, a doctor came in to examine her and order an x-ray. She was bandaged up and given pain pills and then her arm was placed in a sling to help limit her movement. As she sat waiting on the x-ray results a familiar face checked on her through the glass of the examination room. She managed a weak smile for Cal as he entered through the door.

"Ooh. You look good in black and blue," Cal offered a soft joke.

"We're quite a pair," Gillian attempted soft humor back. The truth of it hit them both.

"Reynolds had a team scan the area, but he was gone." Although she suspected as much, the idea of her attacker still at large settled like lead in her stomach. He continued his explanation, almost as if trying to absolve himself of the guilt he felt. "Jenkins was instructing him. He was passing along notes through one of the guards."

"You know I told you I was going to Natalie's house right outside the door to the cube. He must have heard us." Gillian responded as the realization of how he had found her clarified in her mind.

Cal growled in frustration as he sat down next to her on the bed, "I'm sorry luv."

"He wouldn't have gone this far unless you were under his skin." She responded, showing in her face that she held no blame against him.

"Not worth it," Cal said glumly.

As much as Gillian appreciated the sentiment, she felt a bit put off by Cal's statement and some of her rage from earlier resurfaced. "You get hit and it's ok? I get hit and suddenly it's time to throw in the towel?" she asked incredulously. "You know spend some time with one of these victims and you tell me it's not worth it." She held her head high and meant what she said.

He was amazed by her; as always she surprised him. Before he could respond his phone rang. "It's Torres," he told her, gesturing his head asking her permission to take the call.

She grabbed his arm reassuring him that he should take the call while simultaneously thanking him for deferring to her. She listened to his side of the conversation.

"Hey." Cal said into the phone. "Yeah she's ok." Gillian figured Torres was asking about her and she looked away. "Absolutely not." Gillian looked up at this response. "Oh so you think you can get more out of him than I can yeah. You're pretty confident, aren't you?" Gillian watched Cal reading his face and listening to the inflections in his words. The puzzle pieces of his con began to fall into place for her. "He'll demolish you, forget it." Cal turned and hung up the phone. He looked at Gillian and realized that she had read him. For once, he didn't care. In fact, underneath it all, he was a bit proud of her. She smirked at him and he realized she had read the pride on his face. He shrugged and smirked back.

"So Torres is part of your con, huh?" he raised an eyebrow in acquiescence. "She doesn't know, does she?" Gillian's question was really more of a statement. Again he looked at her sheepishly. Gillian sighed but couldn't help the sides of her lips from turning up in a small smile.

"She should really know better. Given what we pay her and all. Right? … I mean she should have read this right off?" Shaking her head at him, she gave him a look under a raised eyebrow. "Now enough of that alright. You focus on getting better. I gotta get back to the kids, I do."

"Seriously Cal, at some point you have to start trusting us to be part of your cons." Gilian poked him for emphasis.

"Now that's not fair." Cal said with mock affront. "I mean, you were in on it luv."

"Mmmm, was I?" She pursed her lips at him and he smiled in response.

"Listen, she needs to learn, and this way she will get it. Sometimes being part of the …" he gestured as if looking for his words, "con means you're more …"

"Suspicious, distrusting, doubting, disbelieving…" She jumped in listing off several adjectives before he could cut her off.

"…Aware, of what it takes to get the psychopath to lie. I mean I can't help it that she didn't pick up on what you did." Cal smirked at her. Reaching out he tucked her hair behind her ear causing a light blush to flash on her cheeks as she looked down. "Now go home and get some rest, right?"

Her eyes flashing, she looked back up at him ready to argue. Reading his face, she realized he didn't actually expect her to go home. "I'll see you at the office then?" He asked smiling softly at her.

"Yes Cal, I'll catch a cab. You need to get back." She squeezed his arm.

"You know I'd rather wait with you right luv?" His concern was evident in his eyes and his voice.

"There's a serial rapist to catch Cal. You get back and I'll be right behind you." Gillian encouraged him to leave.

"I'd rather you were under me darling." Cal threw back at her from the doorway wagging his brows at her.

"Cal!" her voice warned. She could hear him laughing down the hallway. She smiled to herself shaking her head. That man.

Not two minutes after he had left, the doctor and nurse walked in. The Doctor introduced herself and went over Gillian's x-rays. She was relieved to learn that nothing was broken. After the doctor left, the nurse walked her through discharge and helped Gillian get dressed. She then wheeled her to the ER lobby where Gillian called and waited for a cab to return to the office. Surprisingly it didn't take long to arrive or take her back to the office.

After the cab dropped her off, Gillian headed toward the elevators, but realizing she needed a moment to build her resolve before facing Jenkins again, she veered off toward the stairs. She figured a slower approach would be better, not only physically but emotionally, so she took her time as she ascended. By the time she entered the office she caught the tail end of Cal, Ria and Ben heading into the cube. She could tell that Cal was on a mission, so she followed them. Standing outside the door she could see into the room and into the cube. She watched as Cal knelt down in front of Jenkins. She gripped the door frame when she heard what he said next. "The attack on Foster was predictable. I should have seen that coming."

"Can't always be one step ahead," Jenkins responded smirking.

"Yeah. But I'm a man of science, shouldn't of lost it like that," Gillian's eyebrows knitted together in confusion when Cal referenced his earlier confrontation with Torres. She knew she had missed something.

"You were trying to show off for your little protégé. Show her you were still number one. But you got carried away and … now she's walking all over you," Jenkins spoke condescendingly feeling superior. Things became a little clearer to Gillian. Cal must have had a row with Ria. She made a mental note to check in with Ria after all of this was done.

"Now I suppose your protégé wouldn't act out like that eh?" Gillian could tell by Cal's voice and demeanor that he was about to pounce. Cal knew he had him.

"Short leash … that's the key." Jenkins spoke triumphantly.

"Now, I first met Torres, she was screening carry-ons at the airport for twelve bucks an hour now … barely four months later she's breaking up with me." Cal was speaking not only for Jenkins' benefit. He knew Torres was listening. Gillian paid close attention. This was another insight into how Cal worked.

"Maybe she likes me better?" Jenkins proposed trying to focus the conversation back onto himself.

"Nah nah nah, no, I'm not talking about romance yeah." Cal knew Jenkins was trying to goad him. He refocused the discussion. "This is the third phase of the mentor protégé relationship: separation. Phase one: initiation, establishing shared interests."

"Like falling in love," Jenkins spoke softly again tried to take over control of the conversation.

Ignoring him, Cal continued. "Phase two is even better: mutual growth high productivity could go on for years." Cal paused in his presentation. Jenkins looked at him as realization began to show on his face.

Cal continued. "And then one day protégé surpasses the mentor." Jenkins facial control was unravelling. "He closed." Cal stated reading Jenkins far more easily. "Murder's all over the news. He's even got a nickname. He's the capital killer. He's more famous than you are now." Jenkins contempt was clearly evident.

As they watched from outside the cube, Reynolds spoke to Torres, "I should tell you Lightman asked me to get those photos made when we first discovered Camille was missing."

"So Camille's not dead?" Torres asked surprised.

"We don't know yet." Reynolds responded. His fear for the woman evident in his answer.

"Lightman knew it from the beginning. It was all set up. He planned the whole thing. All of it. Even letting Jenkins see through him at the prison." Torres was shocked and frustrated and full of admiration and pissed and embarrassed and mostly amazed.

"Yeah he set up a false power dynamic. Build Jenkins confidence lower his defenses." Eli ever the scientist responded in awe.

"Lightman played me too," she laughed incredulously. "He pushed me to disobey him because he knew it would trigger Jenkins."

"The long con." Gillian's voice echoed behind them as she finally stepped into the room. Ria turned to look at her in shock that she was back in the office. "One of Lightman's favorite moves."

"You knew?" Torres half asked and half accused her.

"No idea," she replied shaking her head no and raising her shoulders in a shrug. She wasn't lying. She hadn't known exactly, not the details anyway. She had known Cal was up to something, but that wasn't really what Ria had asked.

"He is scary good," Torres said turning back to the cube. She never saw the flash that went across Gillian's face.

After watching for a bit longer, Gillian went to her office to take some pain medication. She was struggling with opening the bottle when Eli came to retrieve her to join them in the viewing room. He smiled sheepishly as he took the bottle from her hands and removed the child safety cap. She smiled gratefully to him, threw back the pill and followed it with a swallow of water.

"Lightman needs you in the viewing room." He said. She nodded and followed him to the room. Sitting down she focused her attention on the video of the parole hearing.

Jenkins' biggest fan could be heard on the video, "I'm here at Andrew Jenkins first parole hearing and in just moments Jenkins himself is gonna walk into the room." The image of the hearing played on the video screen in front of them.

"This is just weird." Gillian shook her head, having been out of the office she had missed any interactions with the fan.

"Yeah, I had to spend the day with him," Ria responded sardonically.

"There's gotta be something on this tape," Agent Reynolds mused, feeling frustrated that they didn't yet have their hands on the perp.

"There's Michelle and her husband," Ria pointed out. Gillian's mind flashed back to her earlier meeting with the couple.

"God. Can you imagine having to sit there and look at the guy that did that to your wife?" Eli raised. Gillian couldn't fault him for the question but something nagged in the back of her mind. Her earlier conversation with Paul…

"Oh, that's Milo's fan club. It has to be one of them." Reynolds spoke with revulsion.

"Well, they might be working together as a team." Gillian offered an alternative possibility as her eyes scanned each of their faces.

"Nice," Loker commented watching as Paul attacked Jenkins.

"Ok, go back. Stop it there. And on the husband. And freeze it." Cal directed Loker. "Alright Torres what do you see?" Cal asked his protégé.

"Uh, something weird about his anger towards Jenkins." She responded studying his face on the video intently.

"Yeah, onset's too fast." Cal clarified.

"What does that mean?" Reynolds asked with frustration.

"Real anger starts more slowly and builds. Fake anger has a more jagged onset. Comes in stages." The pieces started coming together for Gillian. The reason Paul's voice had triggered something with her earlier, it was making sense now, in a horrible way.

"And after the fake anger, adulation," Cal continued reading Paul's face.

"Oh my god." Gillian's shock and disgust was evident. He was Michelle's husband and he… She couldn't hide the revulsion on her face. When they spoke… that was what was off. She shuddered. He had … he had done that to Natalie and he … he had attacked… he attacked…me.

"Husband's a fan." Lightman stated flatly though the disgust was apparent in his eyes.

Things moved very rapidly after that. Reynolds was bursting to get to Paul. Lightman and Foster had to race after him. Lightman didn't even argue when Gillian insisted on accompanying them. Reynolds was too focused on getting his hands on Paul to realize how this news could impact Michelle, but Cal and Gillian knew. Cal's concern for Gillian was outweighed by his knowledge that Michelle was going to need her and that this might help Gillian take her own power back. He didn't often let his compassion dictate his actions, especially when it would put Gillian at risk, but in this case he could understand her need to be there.

They were all quiet in the car ride. Pulling into the driveway they realized Paul's car was missing. "Paul's not here." Reynolds said slamming his hands down on the steering wheel. "Ok, we play this cool. We can't arouse suspicion or he'll run. Got it?"

The last question was rhetorical and no responses were given, but walking to the house, Cal stopped Reynolds briefly and stated simply. "Gillian's lead on this." Before he could even protest both Gillian and Cal stared him down.

"Fine," Reynolds huffed, "But we do this quickly. Camille's life could depend on it."

When Michelle answered the door and agreed to let them in, Cal could sense Reynold's impatience. Gillian quickly confirmed that Paul was out before sitting down across from Michelle. "Do you know where Paul is?" Gillian asked tentatively.

"He …um he checks on his empty listings every night. He's a real estate agent." Michelle responded a bit hesitantly. She didn't like the fact that three people, basically strangers, were in her home at night without Paul there. She could also sense the tension in the room and was worried about why they were there.

Gillian glanced at Reynolds with an understanding of where Paul had likely hidden Camille Halpern. "Can we, uh, can we have those addresses?" Gillian requested softly.

"What's going on?" Michelle demanded.

"Paul Russell is not your husband's real name." Cal interjected with a concerned tone, "It's Leo Carti. He changed it six years ago before you met."

"I don't understand," Michelle's shock and fear evident in her response.

"We found letters he wrote to Andrew Jenkins in prison." Gillian explained, apprehension and empathy evident on her face and in her voice.

"He wanted to tell him how much he hated him. How he hurt me." Michelle knew that, Paul had told her about the letters. Her relief was short lived when she heard the response.

"No. they were… they were fan letters from before you two even met." Gillian managed to respond in a voice slightly above a whisper. It was killing her having to reveal this to Michelle, even though she knew it was necessary.

"That's not possible." Michelle's world began to crash down around her. Not Paul. Not possible. No!

"Michelle we really don't have…" Reynolds started, frustrated they hadn't left yet to go get Paul.

"No." Cal gestured at him to stop. He knew this woman deserved a more gentle approach. While they could never lessen the devastation of the truth, he wanted to give her a chance to process it. It wasn't fair.

"He sought you out to be close to Jenkins. He wanted to be close to what Jenkins did to you." Gillian tried to explain the unexplainable.

"So um… so all those nights where he … told me that I should talk about … about what happened … that it would help me, you're saying that he wa… he was enjoying it?" Michelle's disgust and pain were clear. Gillian couldn't bring herself to respond.

"Michelle you are gonna help us find Camille in time." Cal brought her back to the urgent matter at hand. Even though he knew it was unfair to ask of her, they had no other choice; a woman's life was at stake.

"The listings are in the …the drawer next to the desk." Michelle answered her hand going to her mouth.

"All right," Ben exhaled as he turned, located the drawer and pulled out the list. "All right," he repeated under his breath as he began reading through the list. Feeling energized at having the next lead.

"Now there's over twenty houses. Do you have enough men to get to all of them?" Cal asked him worried about the lack of man power.

Ben replied, "We only have to find one. Now Foster said underground right? That means that the place would have a basement and an attached garage so he that could drive right in. The houses shouldn't be too close together. And he'd prefer a young busy neighborhood, the more going on the less people notice." Tapping his finger twice on the listing he read it out loud: "63 Meadowlane Mclaine Virginia. Let's go."

Gillian and Michelle sat in silence while Cal and Reynolds looked over the list. She heard the door slam as knew they had left to find Paul. They hadn't asked her to come. Perhaps they knew that Gillian wouldn't leave Michelle alone; either way it was irrelevant.

"Michelle," she began, "Agent Reynolds and Dr. Lightman have left. There are other agents stationed outside of your house right now and they will stay there until… well, once Agent Reynolds has located Paul, they will likely knock and let you know." Michelle made no movement to acknowledge what Gillian was saying. She knew Michelle shouldn't be alone right now. Not after all she had learned. "Is there anyone you would like me to call? Someone who might come be with you right now?" Still Michelle made no response. Gillian tried again. "Michelle, I don't have any idea what you are feeling right now. But if you want to talk I'm happy to listen. And just so you know… I'll stay, as long as you want me to."

"They're going after Paul." She stated flatly.

Gillian looked at her with relief; speaking was good, it would help give her some insight into Michelle's emotional state. She couldn't really read Michelle's face. Luckily the voice was Gillian's area of expertise. "Yes, they are going after Paul," she confirmed.

"They think… he is doing the same thing Jenkins did to me, to … to those women?" she barely managed a whisper.

"Yes." Gillian said simply. "And you may have saved Camille's life. You did that."

Michelle nodded then wrapped her arms around herself and began to rock. "How stupid am I?" she suddenly asked sitting up.

"You're not stupid Michelle…" before she could continue Michelle cut her off.

"Of course I'm stupid! I fall for not one, no one isn't enough for me, NOT ONE but two, TWO psychopaths. Who does that? WHO ELSE IS STUPID ENOUGH TO FALL FOR IT TWICE?" Michelle screamed out in anger at herself and at Paul and at the world.

"Michelle, it's not your fault, none of this is. This is on Jenkins and on Paul." Gillian stated not knowing if it would be enough. She reached out, but then thought better of it, and clenched her own hands.

"Paul." She whispered. "All those years, all those lies, we were married. I married him… I married a monster." She keened, crying out in agony, fists clenched at the top of her head. "How could I not…" Michelle let out a strangled forced laugh. "…see," she whispered. "Because I don't have eyes. Because of Jenkins I don't have eyes. Because of Paul those other women don't have eyes. I can't cry. You know? I can't even fucking cry! You're supposed to cry when things get shitty. Let things out. But I can't! I CAN'T LET IT OUT? I can't even do that. I can't CRY! I DON'T HAVE EYES! I HAVE NO TEAR DUCTS! HE TOOK THEM FROM ME!" She punched the couch as she screamed and then pulled at her hair. "AND MY HUSBAND TOOK THEM FROM THOSE OTHER WOMEN! HE TOOK THEM… HE…" She collapsed onto herself coiling up into a ball. No longer making any sound.

Gillian sat unsure of what to do. She wanted to reach out, to offer physical support, but didn't know if Michelle would want to be touched. She wrapped her arms around herself in a gesture of self-comfort and to prevent herself from touching Michelle. So she sat there and allowed Michelle space. She was processing which was good. Her anger was natural and her pain. Despite what some might think, there was no good response to this situation. No one should have to deal with something like this.

Suddenly Michelle sat up. "Natalie." She simply stated.

"Yes…," Gillian paused not understanding, "What about Natalie?"

"You asked me … and Paul… to come see her. To give her hope. But what will she have now? What do I have to share now? What hope is there that I can offer to her?"

Gillian was astonished. "Michelle, yes, you and Paul came to see Natalie, and yes you helped her. But Michelle it wasn't Paul who reached her and it wasn't Paul who gave her courage again. You did that. Your strength and your kindness and your resolve. That was what inspired Natalie. You are what inspired Natalie. You gave her back her hope."

"Who's going to give me back mine?" Michelle asked bitterly.

Gillian whispered back. "Michelle, you are an amazing person. What you've already have overcome is an inspiration. It inspired Natalie. It inspired me. Maybe you will re-inspire yourself."

"I don't feel inspired." Michelle responded. "What am I going to do now?" she whispered.

"I don't know." Gillian answered truthfully.

"Some shrink you are." Michelle retorted. Then snorted. Despite herself, Gillian felt a chuckle forming and put her hand over her mouth to hide it. Michelle's snort turned into a chuckle and then into a full blown laugh. Soon Gillian was laughing too.

When their laughter cleared it took some of the tension with it. "I don't know why that was so funny. But it feels good laughing. This situation is just so… ridiculous."

"It is actually normal to laugh, however strange it may feel. Your emotions may jump all over the place and that is to be expected. Laughing is a good sign." Gillian encouraged Michelle.

"I do feel a little better as odd as that sounds." Michelle reached a hand out in Gillian's direction. Gillian took her hand causing both of them to jump a little. She squeezed Michelle's hand. "Would you… Would you mind staying? I mean, at least until they find… Until the agents let us know… that everything is… done."

Gillian responded without hesitation. "Absolutely."

"Ok." Michelle squeezed Gillian's hand once before withdrawing her own. "I think… I want some… tea."

"I'd be happy to make it if you want." Gillian offered and Michelle nodded absently.

"I have several kinds in the kitchen. There's a sleepy time tea. I'd like that one."

Gillian could tell the events of the evening were draining her energy. "Do you take it with milk? Sugar?" When Michelle shook her head in the negative, Gillian responded, "Black it is. I'll let you know when the tea is ready." Again Michelle nodded. Gillian got up to go into the kitchen as Michelle laid her head back on the couch. While she didn't have any idea of where the supplies would be, she didn't want to disturb Michelle. She began looking around. The kettle was already on the stove so she filled it with tap water before returning it and lighting the stove burner. She opened a few cabinet doors but didn't find the tea. Spotting some canisters on one of the counter tops, she lifted the lids finding one that contained sugar, but still no tea. Biting her lip she sighed. She really didn't want to bother Michelle. She thought about it a little longer, then decided to check the drawers. After sliding a few open, she found an organizer separating a variety of tea bags. Locating the sleep tea, she placed the bag into a mug she had found in a cabinet. Spotting a peppermint tea bag she added that to a second mug.

She stood at the counter and waited for the tea to boil. Gazing back at Michelle she wondered again if there was someone she could call for her. She hated the idea of leaving her alone. The kettle whistle jostled her out of her musings. Turning off the burner she poured the water then carried the hot mugs back to the living room. "Michelle, I've got the tea here," she said before setting them down on the table in front of the couch. "They should probably steep for a bit."

Michelle sat back up as Gillian sat down. Before either spoke again, a knock sounded at the door. Both looked toward the sound. Michelle sighed, then rose. She slowly made her way to the door with Gillian following behind. "Yes?" she called out.

"Michelle Russell this is Agent Simms ma'am."

Michelle unlocked the door. "Did they find Paul, Agent Simms? Did they… find Camille?"

"Um, yes ma'am they have apprehended Leo Carti… I mean Paul Russell. He has been taken into custody. They also have secured Camille Halpern. She'll be evaluated but it appears they arrived in time. Mrs. Ru… Ma'am, we do not believe you are in any further danger at this time and our detail will be withdrawing."

"Does that mean you and the other agents are leaving?" Michelle's voice was amazingly steady.

"Yes, ma'am. Now that the suspect has been apprehended there is no further need for us to remain. We would like to get your statement though ma'am." The agent spoke in a very soothing voice.

"I… I don't… I am not sure I can…" Michelle didn't think she had it in her to discuss Paul again.

"If you'd prefer we can have an agent come by tomorrow to take your statement." The agent offered.

"Or you can come to the Lightman group and give your statement there." Gillian offered. "I'd be happy to pick you up tomorrow morning. I'm sure agent Reynolds can make that work." Gillian looked at agent Simms with an expression he could easily read. He didn't argue.

"Yes… yes… I think that would be… better. I'll meet with your agent tomorrow at the Lightman group." Michelle stood there gripping her arm.

"Well in that case, we will see you tomorrow at …," Agent Simms looked at Gillian for confirmation of a time.

"How does ten sound?" Gillian asked Michelle.

"Yeah, ten." She responded dully.

Agent Simms nodded at Gillian. "Alright. Thank you ma'am. We will see you at ten tomorrow at the Lightman Group. Um, Dr. Foster, Dr. Lightman suggested that you might need an escort home?"

Gillian couldn't help but offer the agent a small smile. She was sure 'suggested' was not quite what Cal had done, demanded might have been more appropriate wording. "Thank you Agent Simms. I had forgotten that I did not have my car here. Would you mind giving me a moment?"

"Of course." He said and with that he took his leave.

"I hope you are alright with this plan Michelle." Gillian asked for confirmation softly.

"Tomorrow is better. I don't think I can go through any more tonight." Michelle said. "I feel so tired." Michelle moved to the side allowing Gillian to pass by her through the door.

Standing on the front step, Gillian turned back, concerned about leaving Michelle alone. "Michelle, I meant what I said earlier about listening if you need to talk. You can call me anytime, tonight included." Michelle made a noncommittal gesture of a half shoulder shrug. "Alright. I'll be here around 9:30 tomorrow morning; if that works for you?" Michelle nodded in confirmation of Gillian's question. "Is there anyone you want me to call to come over this evening?"

Michelle shook her head in the negative. "I really just want to sleep."

"Alright. If you're sure…" Gillian was still worried.

"Don't worry Dr. Foster. I've been in therapy for a long time and my therapist is on speed dial. If I need to talk with someone I will, but honestly, I just want to go to bed. Tomorrow I can start … figuring this out, but no more tonight."

"Ok. I'll see you tomorrow?" Gillian made one last attempt.

"Yes, Dr. Foster, you will see me tomorrow." Michelle's voice sounded sure and there were no hints of deception. Gillian could only guess this unease might be what Cal experienced when dealing with suicides. She was fairly confident that Michelle was not suicidal but a lot had happened and she couldn't be one hundred percent sure. It left her disheartened.

As Michelle closing the door. Gillian stepped away from the door spotting the agent sitting in his car. She started walking toward him but stopped and turned back when she heard Michelle softly call her name. "Dr. Foster… Thanks." With that she shut the door.

Gillian hoped that she would in fact see her tomorrow. This was the hard part of her job. She had seen no signs that Michelle would harm herself but the possibility still existed. She would just have to trust in her reading and in what Michelle had said to her.

Sighing she made her way to the agent's car. This time she looked everywhere as she approached and held her keys fisted in between her fingers. Despite the fact that Paul Russell was apprehended she was still on edge. She slipped into the passenger side and immediately locked the door. "Thank you again Agent Simms." He smiled in acknowledgment and she gave him her address. The ride home went so quickly that it came as a shock when she looked up and saw her door. She again thanked the agent, gathered her things and rushed inside locking the door behind her.

Then she just stood there.

The darkness and quiet of the home surrounded her. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up. Quickly she flipped on the light switch and then walked through her house flipping switches as she went. She didn't care if it looked like she was hosting a party. In the living room she connected her ipad to her speaker system and put it on random. She didn't even notice what began to play; it was really just for background noise.

Making her way to the bedroom she slipped off her shoes, set aside the items she would take to the dry cleaners, then dropped the rest of her clothing into the laundry basket in her closet. She had a little trouble with the sling but managed to get it off with minor discomfort and only one stabbing pain. Sucking it up, she entered her bathroom and eyed first her shower and then her tub. Part of her wanted to stretch out and relax in a hot bath, but a more vocal part wanted to scrub away the shitty day. She reached into the shower and adjusted the water temperature to just below scalding before stepping in. The hot water hurt a little but also seeped into her muscles helping her relax.

Grabbing the salt scrub one handed she squeezed a generous amount on her sponge before removing it from its holder. Scrubbing was hard with just one hand but she rubbed as hard as she could manage. She knew her need to get even cleaner was all in her head, but knowing didn't stop her from trying. Her skin was pink by the time she stopped and moved onto the shampoo. Washing her hair one handed was even harder but she managed somehow and conditioned it too. Shaving was not an option. By the time she turned off the water, her good arm was screaming from being held up for so long and her bad arm was beginning to throb.

Stepping out of the shower she dried herself off as best she could. She applied her deodorant and moisturized where she could reach with the least amount of effort. Entering her closet she opted for something comfortable, slipping on a soft gray cotton camisole and some flannel pajama pants. Grabbing a pair of warm socks, she tucked them on before sliding the sling back over her head. Her arm protested and she gritted her teeth. Finally immobilizing her arm, she went back to her kitchen in search of her pain killers. They were in her purse, which she had left on the counter in her earlier walk through. The throbbing was bad enough that she used her mouth and good hand to rip open the paper bag.

Pulling out the bottle she was thankful she remembered to ask for the non-child proof lid. Looking at the label she read that it was recommended that she take it with food. Her stomach rolled in protest at the thought of food, but she knew she needed to take the medication. Opening her refrigerator she spied a protein shake. She grabbed it and shook it before drinking a few mouthfuls. Popping one of the pills, she finished the drink. After rinsing the bottle she dropped it into the recycling bin.

Even though she knew it was probably not smart mixing pain medication with alcohol, she grabbed a bottle of wine, uncorked it, and pulled down a glass from the cabinet. Carrying the open bottle tightly next to her body and the glass precariously by the stem with her little fingers, she went to her living room and sat down. She poured herself a very large glass and downed most of it in one gulp. Refilling it, she sank back into the couch. Her thoughts travelled through the day's events and she unconsciously chewed on her lower lip. She continued to down the wine unaware of the tears rolling down her cheeks.

A beeping sound made her jump. Her phone on the counter in the kitchen was alerting her to a message. She contemplated ignoring it for a second; but ultimately welcomed the distraction. Standing up made her sway a little and she walked a bit unevenly to the kitchen where she retrieved her phone. Returning to the couch she took another sip of wine before opening the message.

It was from Cal. He confirmed that they had in deed apprehended Paul and saved Camille Halpern. He told her that he had conversed with Ria and had asked for Reynolds to be assigned to them full time. She would have to ask him more about both items, but she was too drained to ask any more that night. She typed out a brief text with her good hand. "Michelle coming to office tomorrow at 10 for interview. I'll bring her. We'll discuss Ria and Reynolds after." As an afterthought she typed a second text and sent it: "Cal, It was worth it."

Taking another swig of her wine she realized her glass was empty. She reached for the bottle and began pouring some more but stopped. She would have to be coherent tomorrow as she was driving Camille. "Crap." She muttered realizing her car was at the office. She'd have to get up so early to take a cab to the office in time to get her car and then pick up Michelle. Sighing she realized she should technically get to sleep now if she wanted to get any rest. She was pretty sure her body had other ideas. She hadn't been sleeping well, not for a while, and after today she wasn't sure she'd be able to at all.

She looked toward her bedroom but couldn't bear the thought of sleeping in her bed alone. Instead she laid her head down on the couch and tried to close her eyes. Immediately she felt hands grabbing at her and she sat straight up. She really didn't need sleep, right? Her vision blurred with tears and her now shaking hand swiped at the wetness on her cheeks. The irony of her predicament didn't escape her notice. All day she had been convincing others of the need for help and she herself wasn't able to ask for it.

Picking up her wine glass she almost dropped it when she heard a knock at her door. She sat it down as gently as she could. Standing up she wiped at her cheeks again, she must look a mess. "Hang on," she called out. Walking to the door proved more complicated than before but she managed it slowly.

"You alright Luv?" she heard a muffled Cal from behind the door. She had suspected it was him but her heart thrummed a little with the confirmation. Pulling open the door she leaned on it heavily and took in his disheveled appearance.

"Thought you had Emily tonight?" Gillian asked softly. She could tell he was reading her too and that her red rimmed eyes and wet cheeks were not going unnoticed.

"Nah told her to go to her mums earlier what with how late we were going to be and with what happened to…" Cal trailed off not wanting to mention the obvious.

"Me?" Gillian filled in, not really asking.

"Yeah luv." He nodded. "Can I…" he gestured toward her and she moved back still hanging on the door to let him through. It took her a few tries to engage the lock and when she turned around he was smirking at her. Apparently he had spotted her wine. "Not good to mix poisons luv."

Ignoring him, she tried to sway past him toward the kitchen, but had to reach out and grab his arm on the way. "Want a glass?" she asked, attempting to cover her hand on his arm.

Smiling he wrapped an arm around her waist and guided her to the kitchen where he left her resting at the counter and pulled a glass down himself. "Love one." Slipping his arm back around her he led her to the couch. Sitting next to her he poured himself the rest of the bottle raising his eyebrows at her. "I'm impressed luv. Three quarters of a bottle and pain meds, you should be right pissed."

Gillian felt too sad and too drained to engage in his teasing. She simply shrugged and looked down where her hands would be if one wasn't in a sling. She picked at a loose thread on the sling with her good hand until Cal reached over and took it in his. Looking up at him, she was surprised when he used his other hand to tuck her hair behind her ear. "It's alright to be upset luv. You've had a shite day. Worth it or not." She offered him a small smile at that comment. He had read her text. "Why're you up anyway? It's … oy! Bloody hell, it's late." She shrugged at him in response. "Can't sleep?" she shook her head no, not that she really needed to even respond. They both knew it would be damn near impossible for her to sleep. "Me neither. Thought maybe I'd come check on you. You know … we put our two heads together maybe we could work something out." She eyed him incredulously with one eyebrow raised. The innuendo not going over her head. "Now I didn't mean that," Cal rounded his finger pointing at her face and smirking. "Dirty thoughts there Foster, you cheeky wench."

Gillian couldn't help but smile at him. Cal had that effect on her. He somehow could make her forget her troubles, even when he was the cause, and just make her feel safe. "Come here." He sat back lifting his arm and offering to comfort her. Unhesitatingly, she laid her head down on his chest and curled up against him. She suddenly felt sleep pulling at her. Cal was propping his feet on the coffee table, shoes and all. Normally she'd say something but tonight she didn't care. But something nagged at the back of her mind. When she sat back up, he looked at her surprised.

"I need to get up early to pick up Michelle." She told him. Grabbing her phone she set her alarm before looking back at him. "And as lovely as this is, and it is," she reached out and grabbed his arm when she saw the doubt briefly flick across his face. "We will both be stiff and in pain, well some of us in even more pain," she gestured her head toward her sling, "if we sleep on this couch."

"What are you saying luv?"

"I'm saying take off your shoes Cal. I'm not going to get any sleep without you but we'll be more comfortable in my bed." She deliberately looked down, not wanting to read his eyes. She couldn't handle it, not tonight.

"But luv, Ale..."

She didn't give him the chance to finish his name. "It's not an issue." She said staring into his eyes. His eyebrows arched up reading what she was telling him. He realized that Alec was gone. Glancing around, he acknowledged the absence of Alec. Turning back to her he looked at her with amazement. She had been hiding this from him. He knew things weren't great but this was bigger than that. She really did have a lot on her plate on top of this shitty day.

"Come on," she stood up and managed not to fall over and held her hand out to him. He took it without any further questions and followed her, stopping at the door to deposit his shoes. Hand in hand they made their way to her bedroom. She pulled out a large shirt and some sweat pants that Alec had left and handed them to Cal before entering her bathroom. She heard him go into the guest bath. After completing her business she got under her covers and laid her head back on the pillow.

"Gillian…" she heard him whisper and sat back up. "Are you sure luv? I mean… I could…" he gestured back toward the spare room with his head.

"Please come here Cal. I will sleep better with you next to me." He didn't question her further. Climbing in next to her, he once again lifted his arm and she snuggled into his side. "G'night luv." He whispered kissing the top of her head. She squeezed him in response and mumbled something that might have been good night. "What was that?" he teased not really expecting an answer. She lifted her head though and looked up at him with one eye.

"Told you it would be worth it." With that she winked and laid her head back down. He couldn't stop the huge smile spreading across his face and even when her ear splitting alarm woke them both way too early the next morning, he found he was still wearing it.


End file.
